John Watson + jealousy (1/2)
My favorite part is that I think it’s genuinely ridiculous to John— like, it’s so funny it’s painful. He’s like, ‘don’t kid a kidder, I know Sherlock Holmes and he’s in a monogamous relationship with deduction’. In that sense, the look at the wedding ring really stands out ‘cause John isn’t making a joke out of it. Like, on some level he just genuinely can’t believe Sherlock is capable of romantic/sexual attraction, so it’s a farce. Even if it hurts John, it’s still a farce. In a way, it really is funny (look at his face!), but it’s also just sad because basically he’s treating Sherlock about the way Sherlock treated the train guy in TEH. Of course it’s a coping mechanism, but the jealousy is definitely mixed with sheer amused incredulity. He’s waiting for the punchline; really, he is the punchline, and he plays along. John isn’t usually as over-the-top as he is when he plays up his incredulity at Sherlock’s impossible sex-life.
With the ring, the joke’s on John, because this means Sherlock can’t feel things at all. He was still thinking he’s okay with it, he convinced himself he was okay with it, he even went ahead with the marriage and told himself it was okay— because what they had was enough, and he wasn’t going to push. But it just takes one more lie before John starts thinking he never had anything at all. And I think John’s really sincere about it, jealousy or no— he really is okay with anything as long as he’s the only one Sherlock feels intensely for, the only one who knows Sherlock. Except maybe he doesn’t. And it’s not rational, and he knows better, but it’s hard to be rational about one’s greatest fear: maybe Sherlock is empty. John doesn’t really believe it, but he can’t help but consider it. And at that moment, it’s like the world goes grey.